Mostly the feedback I got said it was a thoughtful, relatable, reflective, nostalgic, carefree piece, given the way it reminisces back on what time was like when I was young. People also said that this nostalgia and reflectiveness was the theme that I seemed to be conveying.
For the most part this is true. I wanted to have this feeling exist throughout the first part of my project (poem?) because it is meant to be reflective and slow.
However, the next segment is meant to be reflecting on the present-day, in which I feel time moves too quickly, so hopefully these feelings do not carry over into that segment.
For my final draft, I will add in the fast section that will probably feel a lot less reflective and a lot more overwhelming. I hope to have readers feel my frustration.
The only recommendations I really got so far were to slow down the part where the world blows up. I will do that a little bit, because I don't want it to be impossible to read, but I do want that part to be faster than the rest because it is meant to show my panicked state of mind (breaking away from the calm that emphasizes the first half of the piece).
I think it will be important for me to strike a balance between panicked-frenzied-fast text and text-that-is-simply-too-fast-to-read. I kind of want it to be frustratingly fast, so then the reader will feel my frustration with time moving too quickly, but I don't want the reader to be so frustrated that they'll simply dismiss my piece. It's a hard balance to strike. Part of me almost wants it to be something the reader has to watch two or three times to catch it all, but I'm not sure if that's a bad idea.
No comments:
Post a Comment